KEEP GOING

Susan Ozenogu

5 min readApr 13, 2020

Do it once, Do it twice,

Do it a hundred times.

If it is to be yours, Do it again.

Why? Because we learn by doing.

Sometime last year, I started a self improvement campaign, I called it Operation SBOH — Steal Back One Hour. (Not an original idea, Marelisa Fabrega taught it to me through her newsletters, and I made it mine.)

How it was to work was that I’d wake up and hour earlier than I had to: Meditate, Pray, Read, Journal, Practice French, Exercise, Write. Etc. Basically, do a bunch of stuff that would ultimately make me a better person.

Some things had to be done everyday, like: drinking water, journalling and learning French. Some things could be swapped one for the other, like: running and writing and Udemy Courses. And some things were expressly forbidden during the stolen hour: I.e Eating and checking Social media.

The whole idea was, Improve Self!

But, you can’t manage what you don’t measure so diary keeping was an important part of this campaign.

My first journal entry was 11th of April, 2019.

I was upset about something, about someone. I promised to rechannel that energy into writing.

I already knew it would be difficult. Keeping a routine.

However, they say if you do something for 21 days then it becomes a habit. So I committed to sticking to this new routine and I hated waking up early less and less.

For the next 20 days, I wrote, just about anything and everything, raw emotions as they unfold, idle thoughts, acts of boredom, there’s even a story in there about how a random stranger gifted me a huge artwork on one of my early morning weekend runs.

I wrote about the scriptures that comforted my often troubled heart. I wrote about the mistakes and the nightmares that I would have liked to pretend never happened.

I missed Day 21, but here’s an excerpt from Day 22:

02–05–19
“… I didn’t get my journalling to 21 days. But I’ll look at the positives. I’m here. I’m writing today. I ran today. I’ll get up and show up at work regardless of my feelings. … At first, I was afraid to let go, in case I forget, and I never want to forget him, but I see now, relic or not, there’s no way I forget. No one would ever be him, but that’s alright, I might find someone better or not at all and either is just fine.”

On Day 34, I journaled on my flight back to Lagos. The sunset was ever so beautiful from plane level, and the clouds were rimmed with gold, not silver.

On day 53, I woke up late on a weekend and I went running anyways. I learned the real reason I didn’t go running in the day time. Its because I’m a sweet little photosensitive baby whose eyes can’t process all that sunlight at such speed.

By Day 100, I’ve stopped journalling daily.

My new work commute has stifled my SBOH plan and Mum needs a hysterectomy.

You know how I know it’s day 110? Duolingo, that’s how. I failed a lot and broke a lot of promises, but you know what I hadn’t broken? You guessed it: My Duolingo streak. So I kept going.

By Day ? The journal entry says Nov, 2. I am reading the Alchemist and Paulo speaks of the soul of the world, the principle that when you want something with all of your heart, you are closer to the soul of the world and it works towards your success.

As I read, I reflect on all the things I had ever wanted, desired with such a fierceness that no cost would have been too great. But now, I realize, there is nothing I want so badly, nothing I would give everything to attain.

It’s a few days to my 25th by this time, and I decide to want something. It is dangerous to want nothing, I think. To hope in earnest for nothing. So I write down a couple of things I would like to do. Not just productive, academic, career thing; they had to be fun things too, so I could live before I died.

I’m reading that entry now and I realize I have put myself out and done a lot of the things on my list…

Like getting a job you actually love